a coincidence of wants
a musing everyday
5.31.2011
when i go to fancy parties,
every woman there
walks head over heels.
5.30.2011
you say, 'the world is going
to hell in a hand-basket.'
i'd say it's a wastebasket.
5.29.2011
a vagrant asked me if i had 'spare change',
i thought i'd give him a witty quip,
'change comes from within.' then he stabbed me.
5.28.2011
do experts call
abraham lincoln's journal entries,
'lincoln logs?'
5.27.2011
true trend setters
set out treading intrepidly
through new territories
5.26.2011
when god made man,
he looked upon him and said,
'too late to go back now.'
5.25.2011
after the magician lost his arms,
during an ill-fated 'pendulum of doom' trick,
he had nothing up his sleeves.
5.24.2011
'the early bird catches the worm,'
which means, the early worm is caught.
so, before you arrive, decide which one you are.
5.23.2011
the baker's son
started choking on the batter.
he had to cough up some dough.
5.22.2011
the rapture happened,
jesus is just far more picky
than we anticipated.
5.21.2011
he's a necromancer comedian,
he tells jokes at cemeteries,
just to get a rise out of the dead.
5.20.2011
i just found out what
rump roast is,
some people make ends meat!
5.19.2011
even though steve austin became paralyzed
after he saved that bus of orphans,
he still felt like a million dollars.
5.18.2011
the sharper the sword got,
the more difficult it was to handle.
slippery when whet.
5.17.2011
they ran from the killer, through the trees.
they seemed to have finally escaped him,
but they weren't out of the woods yet.
5.16.2011
the giant robot took the boxing ring
into his hands, mid-match,
and he threw the fight.
5.15.2011
he had a feeling it would work,
she decided to be spontaneous.
it was a whim-whim situation.
5.14.2011
when i heard he was on the lamb,
i knew immediately,
i'd find him at the farm.
5.13.2011
when winchester and remington
tied the knot,
it was a shotgun wedding.
5.12.2011
when i stepped up to the podium,
the teleprompter broke.
i was speechless.
5.11.2011
she must be sick all the time,
people keep saying,
she's a 'lady of ill repute.'
5.10.2011
he spouted off misogynistic remarks,
and laughed in her face.
her reaction: knee jerk.
5.09.2011
he was so upset no one believed him,
his tears transformed into wild dogs.
he was the boy who cried wolves.
5.08.2011
i bit hard on my broken down car.
it shattered all of my teeth.
i guess you shouldn't try to eat lemons.
5.07.2011
i told her to break a leg,
hoping she'd just fall.
instead, she performed wonderfully.
5.06.2011
he cocked his rifle, waiting.
when the wind finally blew,
he shot the breeze.
5.05.2011
i'm developing a genetically altered horse
that is the size of a pack of cigarettes.
soon, i'll be able to hold my horses.
5.04.2011
when the devil got evicted
he packed everything into his truck and moved.
hell on wheels.
5.03.2011
the vengeful doctor left home
to pick up supplies at the red cross.
he was out for blood.
5.02.2011
i could either go to a higher level,
or stay where everyone was watching me.
i took the stairs.
5.01.2011
silly kids,
trix
are for magicians
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