2.28.2011

la la la la la la la la la la

la la la la la la la la la la

there's music in the air out here.

2.27.2011

and the oscar for

best short foreign supporting actress

goes to...

2.26.2011

twinkle twinkle little star,

i don't wonder what you are.

you are a star, obviously.

2.25.2011

to whom it may concern,

this letter concerns your concern,

which is causing consternation.

2.24.2011

i whispered in your ear as you slept,

hoping to find my way into your dreams.

it only seemed fair, as you're in mine.

2.23.2011

when i grow up i want to be president

of the lance henriksen

international fan club.

2.22.2011

when i work long days for minimum wage,

it all just feels like

a late day and a short dollar.

2.21.2011

some questions need answers,

those deep philosophical quandaries.

did the pink ranger ever do porn?

2.20.2011

if i said i want your body now,

would you

sign this organ donor form?

2.19.2011

the pigs huddled together in a house of sticks,

complaining about that slutty wolf,

the home wrecker.

2.18.2011

my heart voted on whether to be yours or not,

and when i looked at your face,

the eyes have it.

2.17.2011

there was nothing unusual about

the house haunting or the ufo sighting.

they were just a pair of normal activities.

2.16.2011

'what's your favorite thing ever?'

'hmm, i really like buoyancy.'

'eh, whatever floats your boat.'

2.15.2011

when you left,

all i had was a bad taste in my mouth.

for bitter or worse.

2.14.2011

i tried to hide inside my mind.

i think i thought a thought i'd find,

but found no think to hide behind.

2.12.2011

sometimes i pretend there's an evil alien

inhabiting your body, controlling you,

and that's why you act the way you do.

2.11.2011

not knowing anything about brand names

has really hurt me as a consumer.

i need a brand-aid.

2.10.2011

for those who don't like ' you can't have your cake and eat it too'

i offer to you, a more easily digested version:

'you can't eat your cow, then milk it too'

2.09.2011

when the threads of time unwind,

humanity's only hope lies with

the time ravelers!

2.08.2011

when the lights go out

and everything is shaded blue,

the details i see still amaze me.

2.07.2011

1.) mr. 2.) wooden 3.) seat

4.) charlie 5.) head 6.) of water.

my bucket list.

2.06.2011

in a perfect world,

i'd have everything figured out,

and a jet pack.

2.05.2011

it is said, in the olden days

a woman would grow a tail if she was married after 40.

Though, some call that an old wives tale.

2.04.2011

they've invented a new musical instrument

that creates notes based on natural vibrations inside your ear canal.

the only downside, you have to play it by ear.

2.03.2011

i imagine that peeves are adorable,

fluffy, little critters with big doe eyes,

and that's why everyone keeps them as pets.

2.02.2011

bad fences make good neighbors,

except when they scream obscenities at you.

they can be so offensive.

2.01.2011

i dropped my cards

during a close-up magic act.

they got out of hand, sleightly