1.06.2012

if i make a post, post modern,

does it make it a post modern post,

or does discussing this make it a post post modern post.

1.05.2012

did you hear the one about the gorilla

who played with the jackhammer?

he died.

1.04.2012

the hairdresser loved changing

the comedian's hair color.

she dyed laughing.

1.03.2012

i only drink $1 tequila

because i like to take

cheap shots.

1.02.2012

the carny was spinning in his grave.

mainly because we buried him

inside a gravitron.

1.01.2012

next year, i'm going

to do things completely

differently, promise.

12.31.2011

next year, i'm going

to do things completely

differently, promise.

12.30.2011

12.29.2011

i lack confidence in my colloquialisms,

but rome wasn't built in a day,

am i right?

12.28.2011

every day that i'm

not underground,

i'm on top of the world.

12.27.2011

the kkk was confused about the family's race.

so, instead of using a cross,

the had a burning question mark.

12.26.2011

the british robot longed for a sense of smell,

and when he went to the wizard of oz,

he was so excited, he got a bloody nose.

12.25.2011

christmas is a time for sharing,

but i really think your story about

getting herpes in mexico was over the line.

12.24.2011

santa only comes once a year.

so, i have no idea why he's jolly.

mrs. claus needs to up her game.

12.23.2011

after that champion show dog went rabid

and attacked, i stole her puppy.

an heir of the dog that bit me.

12.22.2011

'we will be together forever,'

the grim reaper whispered. i replied,

'i love you too, death.'

12.21.2011

that homeless hip hop artist

never got any respect.

he got a bum rap.

12.20.2011

i was too afraid of e coli

to eat the raw poultry.

chicken, out.